Nintendo Switch To Release Porn Game (Nope, Not Kidding)

People who think of Nintendo as a brand don’t align them with NSFW, or violent content. That’s because Nintendo’s brand has long avoided such content. Some of it’s most popular games include Mario Kart and Animal Crossing, both family oriented games.

Nintendo is a family gaming system.

But now it appears Nintendo may be wading into more murky, NSFW, porn game waters with the upcoming release of Massage Freaks.

Massage Freaks, as the name suggest,  is a NSFW game. It is slated for availability on Nintendo Switch Lite / OLED. You’ll be able to download the game from the Nintendo eShop for about $28.

Massage Freaks is set for release, to the massive joy of a great many pervs, on August 4th. The developer, Qureate, describes the site as “a rhythm game where you massage cuties.”

I mean, let’s be honest, they aren’t even hiding the porn game aspect here. There’s nothing concealed or glossed over in that description. You’re massaging cuties, that’s as porn as a ripped plumber showing up to your wife’s door while you’re “working” overtime.

In Massage Freaks, you’ll give these girls massages with the end goal of using “your secret massage technique to clear all the stress out of their minds and bodies!”

Good grief, who wrote this marketing copy?

There’s a website where you can have a look for yourself.

massage freaks graphics

There’s a number of massage recipient characters to choose from, including a cat. I don’t know if you can massage the cat, but one must think that any Nintendo user choosing to massage a cat likely gets put on some sort of government list.

massage freaks characters

In case you still aren’t sold that Massage Freaks is a porn game, look no further than the character Mikuni Haruyama’s bio.

“Her large chest makes her the object of much attention, especially at school, but the stiff shoulders it causes have her go to Relaxation Yubihara for help.”

Oh, it also conveniently turns out that “the weight on her chest isn’t all that’s hurting her shoulders.”

The more you massage, the more the ladies feel at ease. What a game.

Oh, and it appears the oddball cat is for censoring.

massage freaks graphics 2

So any of you creeps previously excited by the idea of cat massages, hopefully you never find our site again.

There’s an NTR mode that means no matter where you touch, the girl gives a pleasurable reaction. This is gaming’s “everyone deserves a trophy” moment. No bro should be rewarded for poor massage skills. But alas, Massage Freaks feels differently.

Here’s some Massage Freaks graphics.

massage freaks graphics massage freaks graphics massage freaks graphics massage freaks graphics massage freaks graphics massage freaks graphics

So yes, Nintendo may be heading down the porn game alley. Maybe they realize that as the lone family gaming console experience, they are cancel-proof. At least, time will tell.