The Chinese despise porn. It’s been illegal since the formation of the People’s Republic of China in 1949. Chinese officials are always looking for enhanced ways to detect porn material. Well, now they’ve unveiled a mind reading cap to help them more efficiently find the porno.
Nope, this isn’t the same as the Domino’s mind ordering app that orders from your thoughts.
What if someone ordered porn with their mind? Here’s the thing, the Commies porn monitoring app is way more legit than the Domino’s app that just pulls your favorite saved order from your profile. The commies aren’t f@#ing around, bros.
The commie porn mind reading app is apparently 80% accurate at detecting pornographic imagery on pics or videos or porn games.
Here’s how it works:
Like that. Sort of. Not really.
The Chinese use bots and real humans to scour the web for porn. When a real person surfs the Internet, they must make a subjective decision as to whether an image depicts porn. Apparently, some of these human porn disposers fail to do the good work. So now the commies are placing them in helmets that read their minds. So in this case, when a porn disposer sees porn, the helmet detects changes in their brain and signals to confiscate the content even when the person doesn’t think it’s porn.
Such technology is pretty scary given the country whose hands its in. One wouldn’t be surprised if the commies sew these on all citizens heads so they can monitor all content viewed.
Researchers claim the porn disposal helmets work most of the time. The helmets create optimal porn confiscation conditions. For example, rather than clicking through porn one porn pic at a time, the porn disposer can sift through galleries at lightning speed with the help of the porn mind reader.
I’m honestly unsettled writing this story, but it is what it is.
There’s not much stopping new brainwave detection technology from becoming “a thing.” As mentioned earlier, given who is deploying the technology, it is difficult to imagine that this is where it stops.
China is at war with technology that allows the Chinese people to circumvent porn laws. The latest way for Chinese people to snag porn is via a Steam wallpaper app. Honestly, the creativity and will of Chinese folks getting porn is somewhat admirable. Even in an authoritarian nation, it’s simply a difficult ask to stop the porn from flowing.
This is an obvious Orwellian disaster playing out. But we’d be remiss to point out that even with such technology, people will figure out ways around it. People may figure out how to alter their brainwaves in order to pass through images. Remember, there are lots of people who can pass lie detector tests. So it’s not so unimaginable that people will be able to alter brainwaves in order to circumvent such technology. It will turn into another cat and mouse game between porn disposers and porn seekers. And that should come as no surprise to anyone.
For those of you living in free countries and over 18, enjoy all the porn you like until, of course, the authoritarians cap your head and monitor your thoughts. Hopefully, that never happens.