House Party is a first-person sex simulation game that’s built specifically for PC. In the land of cheeseballs, none is more cheesy than House Party. In 2017, the House Party game was censored by Steam. It eventually was re-listed, but with a censored version. As is the typical case, the censorship debacle launched House Party into a more popular place than it probably deserves.
Let’s be honest here, porn writing as a general rule of thumb should be prefaced with low expectations. We’ve gotten used to some bad plumber scenes. House Party consistently targets super shallow plotlines geared specifically for neanderthal horniness.
And that’s fine. It’s not my place to hate, I only run one of the biggest porn game sites on earth. What would I know?
House Party Game: What’s It About?
Developer Eek! Games, LLC tackles some of our deepest societal issues in House Party. For example, can you get laid at a party tonight? Sound familiar? Certainly, if you had any life in high school or maybe college, the tone and dialogue and settings should all be rather familiar for you.
Depending on which House Party game review you read, you’ll likely encounter some furious hate due to the game’s blatant misogynistic approach. That all feels a little unfair given that House Party is a porn game. It’s fantasy. The PC movement’s a little out of control these days, to be honest. If you’re easily offended by sexist rhetoric, I’d move on from this game. That said, the game has a number of crappy components beyond the sexist environment all equally worth hating.
How To Play House Party
This is a single-player game, so no MMORPG style experiences. Considering the concept, House Party game is best served as single-player mode anyways, so no losses there.
You’re a horny bro. No, seriously, in House Party, you’ll be a first-person bro looking for some vagina. You’ll navigate a land ripe with archaic sexism. As I said, you’re a bro.
As a bro, you’ll go to a girl named Madison’s house where she’s throwing a party. Hence, the name House Party. Who would have made that connection?
Let’s not be entirely negative here, we’d be remiss if we didn’t admit that fraternity-esq house party thoughts don’t make us just a little horny. The shallow narrative isn’t a bad play.
As a bro, you’re gonna dip and dive all over the house flirting with girls. You’ll be given super cheesy pick up lines as a dialogue tree. You’re trying to get laid, bro.
Here’s a sample of what I mean. Meet Amy. Bro, you wanna have sex with Amy. So of course, you roll deep with a cheeseball pickup line.
As you can see, the graphics aren’t terrible. They are dated, but certainly not awful. Other House Party game reviews get stuck on the poor graphics, but I don’t think it’s that bad at all.
I mean, Amy’s pretty sexy, no?
Your pick up line arsenal equates to a rather stumbling and bumbling sophomoric experience. You can be lewd or nasty and there are hardly repercussions for such behavior. In the end, you’re a shallow, horny bro looking for shallow sex. Stick around, you’ll get it.
The whole experience feels super 80s.
Now, no sexual encounters will come easily for you. This throwback game might have you fight another bro at the party. The fight scenes are remarkably hideous.
Two bros, one in a wife-beater shirt, the other with iced out hair. You can’t beat the cheese here.
Madison’s party is loaded with girls, so you’ll have no shortage of interactions. You’ll be on a constant prowl to toss your dick in one of the girls. You’ll hang your hat on horribly shallow pick up lines and in some cases, insults. It all works in House Party, a game that’s very foundation is rank appeal.
Some girls won’t take kindly to your bro’ing.
But not to fear, you can always move on from Ashley, there’s a ton of other girls waiting for your romance.
If you really want to level up your House Party game experience, press P and your dick pops out. Yep, you can show your dick to any girl you like, whether she asked or not. It’s a bad tragedy, to say the least. But again, for those who are offended, the title of the game is House Party. What on earth did you expect?
You can create custom stories if you like. While that sounds a bit fancy, worry not, it’s a tragically bad game play as well. But if you so dare, you’d need to subscribe to the Eek! Games’ Patreon where you can get access to custom stories and extend your play.
House Party Game Graphics
Overall, House Party graphics are bad. You might not notice at first, but once the girls start moving, it feels very dated. Like I mentioned earlier, the still images of the girls aren’t bad. It’s just when they start moving that you feel as though you’re playing a game that your creepy neighbor created in his basement.
The social justice warriors have long raged against House Party due to its sexist scripting. But it’s a game, a fantasy, like any other. So I’d remind everyone that SJW’s aren’t gonna like many porn games at all.
That taken into account, the House Party game is a fat bag of dicks. It’s terrible. The still images can be sexy, but once the girls start moving about, expect to feel like you’re jerking off to an Atari.
House Party underwhelms given the vast and growing competition in the porn game sector. But hey, to each their own, it might turn out that House Party is right up your alley.
Never hurts to try, right? Just don’t tell your SJW neighbor about it.