It was last summer, I’d just got home from our annual company picnic. I felt distressed, maybe even anguished, but I wasn’t sure why. I’d felt this way before and each time, I was similarly perplexed as to why I felt the way I did. In this case, I assumed my anti-social ways didn’t exactly blend with drunken coworker socializing. I don’t drink a lot, so that amplified the annoyances brought on by fruity libations and hot sun.
But none of that was anything to do with my unsettled feelings. That day, I realized, I’m addicted to porn games. I have a specific interest in 3D porn games, but the truth is, I’m hooked on all types.
The revelation felt dismal, almost as if my life was over. All these years, whenever I’d been exposed to social events, I’d felt an almost porn game withdrawal. It was as if I’d quit smoking.
I love porn games. That’s obvious from the opening paragraphs. But I also show some classic addiction symptoms.
Let me make some clarifications here before we go too much further. I don’t feel porn game withdrawal when I’m eating tacos at Chipotle. I can hang with friends without issue. But social situations seem to trigger my XXX game yearnings.
It’s awkward to admit. But the past year has found me more willing to accept some things. I’m addicted to porn games and that’s mostly due to my not loving big social situations. I don’t love my coworkers and their rambling. I need my me time.
When I’m out and exposed to shallow conversations about things I don’t care about, I’m missing the sultry, erotic world of porn games.
This sounds clinical as if I should be committed, or at the very least, in therapy. I felt that way for a while. How healthy can it be to choose to play Grand Fuck Auto over having real-life conversations with people you know?
Well maybe, it’s not as bad as it seems.
Porn Game Addiction: Not What It Seems
Let’s step back for a moment. The label “porn game addict” feels aggressive and unsettling. The associated connotations overwhelm our senses, particularly for those who have never played a porn game before (I don’t expect that’s many of you, considering where you’re reading this).
But when you break things down, it’s the adult, or XXX part of the issue that seems to create the mental discord.
People are addicted to lots of things. And lots of those addictions involve wanting to detach from traditional social situations.
The gaming world is ripe with examples. In fact, it’s difficult to decipher between mainstream games and porn games anymore. The two industries are beginning to merge. Just see the recent Subverse kickstarter that reeled in $2 million.
Gaming, in general, is addictive. And that addiction caters to those who don’t love trivial socializing.
People are addicted to their mobile devices. Let’s be honest, when you see people channeling their social energies through their phones while sitting at dinner tables together, you understand what I’m saying here. In fact, a Harvard study showed that people feel guilty over wanting to interact with a device over the outside world.
And no, I’m not insinuating that people are using mobile porn games. They are texting, playing app games, using Facebook, basically anything to avoid talking to one another.
Porn games, for me, offer a world of fantasy whereas I can create social circumstances that I appreciate. I’m not sure that’s an addiction, rather, it’s a comfort. I don’t feel comfortable approaching girls in bars. My Tinder dates have frequently been a hellish awkward engagement that left me socially scarred for life.
I’m avoiding the same things that others are avoiding, but in a way that suits me. I enjoy building characters that lead me to fun, sexually charged situations. I don’t get off pretending to be someone I’m not on Tinder. I don’t appreciate fake girls who lie on their profile bios and use decade-old images.
I love hentai girls. I love vibrant female personalities that dominate me, so I create them. I love the image of myself in a cartoon frame, so I inject myself as such.
We Have a People Problem
In general, people suck. And they such now more than ever. Sure, people are addicted to their phones, but they are also addicted to avoiding shallow social interactions. Smart devices became a convenient conduit to avoiding human suckage. That’s the honest truth.
People aren’t great anymore. Dating them puts that situation on an even more pronounced level. Most people are 100% self-interest. Too many girls want guys who make tons of money. Too many guys want girls with exact body types.
We’ve ruined one another one fallen dominoes at a time.
For this reason, I’m proud of my porn game habit. To me, it’s a healthy undertaking that allows me to escape a shitty, conniving, and desperate world. I can’t compete on Tinder, so I play my games. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t use dating sites. For example, I do enjoy more straightforward experiences such as FuckBooks. At the very least, people are transparent about why they signed up for the site. I’m good with that.
But in the end, I prefer to build my characters and create worlds that suit my desires and needs. I feel no shame in not wanting to down craft beers with my coworkers. I’m just not built like that.
There’s nothing wrong with turning to distractions to avoid a sometimes cold world. That said, it is healthy to interact outside the world of sexual fantasy. I get that. That’s something I’m working on. But for now, I’m completely OK being immersed in sex simulator games that offer me more of what I’m built for (yes, I literally build myself in many of the games).
Maybe tomorrow I’ll go to my work’s weekly happy hour. Or maybe I’ll get my XXX adult game groove on and build a world I’m more comfortable with. And one that’s more tolerable of who I really am.